Coming Back After Coming Out

I started writing this post in early June to celebrate Pride- writing about the two Melissas coming together after a decade apart and coming out under my real name. Three months and five drafts later, I’ve come to realize why this post is so hard for me to share. It’s a more of a current diary entry than a story from my past, so it makes me feel more vulnerable, like being naked on a stage with a spotlight but I can’t see anyone’s face in the dark theater. Admitting my shame, admitting my past failures that brought me on this journey and nearly back in a full circle a decade later to this point in my life. Admitting to the world what I really want more than anything right now is what I had in my past, back when I was at the top of my game. I’m thinking a lot about how middle-aged rock stars and former pro athletes who long for their glory days- I used to think it was kind of pathetic but now I totally get it. Some figure out a out a way to come back into the spotlight using their name and experience to their advantage and become successful again. Everyone loves a good comeback story. I’m currently writing that story for myself.